Saturday, August 1, 2015

Own created conflicts

Bismillah,
Assalam 'alaik,

Right now, since few months back, I'm having problems which I've created, or assumed myself, and I feel deeply trouble by it.

You see, when you expect too much of other people and they seem to not see your expectation, or they are just too busy and have other things more important than you are to them, your expectation will be left, alone, just like that, unattended.

That is how I feel right now.

Well, I don't really expect too much of other people, I just wish them to notice my existence and to include me in their cycle.

I know. I sound like I'm a loner depending on someone else's life to live. But no. This people I put my expectation on is the one that I am already close to, these people are the one that I hope will be with me through my thick and thin, and I will be the same them too.

So, now I noticed that this relationship, this friendship is drifting apart. I mean, shouldn't it be stronger? We have known each other for years now and I have put my deep trust on to them.
And now I feel neglected. and out of place.


Maybe its because I have changed, without me realizing it. Maybe its because of the situations, though I don't know what the situation is. Maybe its just me. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

I'm just being protective over my friendship. No one want to build something over nothing, and lots of time being spent is not for nothing.


Expectation exists when you are being given hope.


But I never want to question other people's existence around me. I'm not Allah, who Knows whats deep down in their hearts and minds. So I can't simply assume things that I myself not sure of.


But one thing for sure, what I have learnt from this is to never put my hopes, dreams upon people, for they are the created ones. But always my hopes and dreams and despair and happiness upon the One and only One, my dear Allah.


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