Tuesday, January 2, 2018

WELCOME 2018! New Year New Self, eh really?

Salam and hey guys!

Hope it's not too late to make a welcome post on refreshing 2018!

It's refreshing because I think it's been quite a ride on 2017 globally; the Trump issues (he's made A LOT), Jerusalem and Al-Quds Masjid, and to go particular in Malaysia people have been so anxious about incoming General Election which could come in anytime by now (a gently reminder for you guys to register as voter if you haven't!). Then some gossips on certain celebrities, news on death of SHInee Jonghyun and the issue came after within Muslims. In general, I can say that maybe to some people 2017 has been bad for them.

So hence the refreshing 2018! People have many expectations on incoming days and months, new year marks new events and focus!

Let's hope that most of us can focus on positive and brighter things this year!

Talking about welcoming new year, on social media like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook the hashtag #NewYear has been trending since 30th Disember, alongside captions "New year new self", "Time to open new book", or of some sorts.

I generally don't really celebrate the event of New Year. It's just a normal day for me, maybe some reminder that it's 2018 now and not 2017 because I often wrote past year for dates, and that is embarassing. huhu

But somehow this time I wanted to make a different; making some resolutions and goals for 2018. I've entered 21 of age, and I think it's best if I make some notes on what I should change or whether I've improved as I aged. It's more on self-reflection really.

So these are my resolutions that I've chosen for 2018 (so I can keep up with them).

3.     WAKE UP AT 6AM


It's not much, I know. There's only two for my studies, and the rest are more to self-organizing and spiritual matter. I believe that if I could improve on my daily schedules, eliminate procrastinating, my studies will improve too!

(OH and see that no. 15? Once two weeks isn't much to people but knowing myself... Better starts slow!)

I even wrote it up on my bujo so I can keep track of them on my daily routines! (or monthly).

However, even though I got myself 20 goals and resolutions to improve myself throughout the year, I wouldn't use the phrase "new year new self". Stepping into 2018 doesn't mean I've become a new person. I may shed some negativity and tried to be in new perspectives, but that is not me transforming into a new person.

People don't change overnight. It's difficult if they want to. In this new year, I am still myself, I am still with my personality, but better. I am proud of what I have become, and I will change what I am not proud of.

Not just that, I'm not approve of using "time to open new book", because that means I'm going to close 2017 and shut it behind. If I put my past behind my sights, I won't be able to see what I've done, what I've achieved in the past year. I can't learn from my past mistakes, and see what I should change. 

I don't know about other people, but I just don't agree on being a new person on new year or any other day and putting our pasts behind. It's not that I like to drag on and think of the past, it's about what I can learn from it, make new things with it.

Either way, I've given you guys my thoughts on celebrating new year and 20-New-Year-Resolutions!

May we all achieve our goals this year and be a better self for ourselves and people surrounding!

p/s: It's never late to start, or to change! New year is just a date, you can start anytime you want to, but it's best to be soon!

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Lessons from Kimi Ni Todoke (both manga and anime)

Salam 'alayk guys! And good morning too!

So as I have promised, I will talk/discuss/type on further about one of my favourite anime/manga ever, Kimi Ni Todoke! (although it's been a month already).

I'm sure everyone who likes anime and manga have heard of this title and even watched them, the anime and live action movie! The live action movie is just so cute and adorable, I love the actress that portrays Kuronuma.

So cute.

Ok ok. Back to topic. I first watched the anime, then read the manga (because I couldn't get over how cute Kuronuma*Kazehaya). Therefore I'll start with what I've learnt from the anime, then from manga, because the manga is still ongoing and has extended until their 3rd year of high school (the story starts from freshman year).

First of all, I don't know if I'm the only who feels this, but from the anime I can assume that the Japanese are so expressive with their feelings..?? Like they will just say out loud what's been on their mind, with honesty, and I think that is really cool. It seems like they prefer to have the other party to understand how they have been feelings, or it's just Kuronuma.. hahaha

Second, Kuronuma is such a tidy and optimistic girl! Can I borrow her optimism for the rest of my life??!!!

Third, honestly there's not much that I took lesson of from the anime.

What really impacted on is the manga.

Only one point.

It is how the classroom teacher, actually told the students to think of what they wanted to do after high school when they were only junior in highschool. They still have 2 more years until graduation, but they have been pushed to think of their future, of what they wanted to do, whether they want to stay and help with family business, or further studies in universities, and if they choose the latter one they would have to think on their preferred profession, WITH THE GUIDE OF THE TEACHER!

You see, in Japan, they teach the students to plan their future. They teach the students to find what they want to do, and help them to pursue it. They are trying to fully utilize their human resource by not wasting every talent and interest the students have!

Meanwhile in Malaysia, at least when I was still in school, people just asked "what's your ambition?", "what you wanted to do in the future?" just to fulfill the introduction requirement for ice breaking. No going further than whats-your-ambition.

Back then there were lots of typical answers: teachers, policemen, pilot, doctors. Even one time I opened Biology textbook to look for an answer, and I picked virologist. (Hey, I did get A for my Bio!). Students were encouraged to have doctor or engineer as their ambition, but were never guided on how to reach them. Oh wait, they did! "If you want to be a doctor you have to get straight A's for SPM!". Fullstop.

That's it. THAT WAS IT.

Watching and reading Kimi Ni Todoke make me realised how much I wasted my teens not planning my life career. How I've been missing on my interests and passions.

Why I said so?

Because after SPM, I didn't know what I wanted to pursue. I've always have this vision of owning a book-cafe, but majoring in Business Admin was not an option (I'm sure my father be against it due to tight job market). I like sciences but I couldn't continue in Matriculation Science stream because the one I got offered was like at the end of the world and my mom wouldn't want it. 

I didn't filled in my UPU with science major because my mom predicted I wouldn't be able to make it, because I had hard time with addmaths (but I do like maths and got B for addmaths). 

And in the end, I guess I was lost and I didn't study well about options available I ended in Islamic courses for my undergrad studies. It's not bad, really, but my weakest point, even weaker than addmaths is Arabic language, so I had to struggle a lot, I even broke down and dysfunction few times.

My point here is, I feel so regretful I didn't find out what I like, what I wanted to do before I finished my SPM. Now, after few years, I know I like maths (always), I like history, arts, business. These are the things that I have passion on and I found it a bit later than I should.

Feeling this way, I think non of my juniors should feel lost after SPM, or feeling discouraged in college, just because it's not what they wanted to do. Students deserve better.

If they say they wanted to be a teacher, then explain to them that they need to go to UPSI for best options, need get straight A's to be accepted. Doctor? A+ for sciences subjects, and if they want to pursue it overseas, see which scholarship suits them, so they know how to strive.

Highschool/Secondary school students need to be guided on how they are going to achieve their ambitions, so they know what they wanted to do. Don't let them study hard for the sake of brilliant SPM results, only to get lost after. Make them study so they can get what they want, so they can do what they wanted to do.

Don't be like me.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017


Salam guys!

I'm taking a break from midnight tasks, so right now I'm gonna tell you guys what I'm currently hooked on and my crushes!

Oh. My. God.

I just got 3 new crushes!

Ok ok.

It all started back in last semester, when almost everytime I entered Maryam's cube/box/compartment, she'd be watching some animes or,,, animes. In her hard disk she got like dozens (or hundreds) of anime series or movies!

Sometimes I'd watch from her behind, because I was that leisure tho I had lots of works. huhu. Then I remembered that some of my friends commented/posted something on Facebook regarding this one anime, Haikyu!. So I asked Maryam if she have them, and she does!

Therefore, there you go, how I started my first crush. (HAHA YOU THOT WHO HUMAN?!) The thing is, once I start something, liking something, fell into some dark twinkles well, I won't be able to crawl out anymore.

Kageyama is cool okay! And through Haikyu! too I've gotten in love with volleyball. You open my youtube app, there'd be some volleyball videos of some super liberos or setters. I even know Arisa Sato now... *sigh

Then, my second crush! I doubt many of you heard of this anime, it's a bit old, horror, and the ending is hung. ugh.

GHOST HUNT! Come on if you haven't watch Ghost Hunt you gotta watchi it now!

It has only 1 season, around 25 episodes I think? Really love the settings, how different characters fit with each other, the humors, and the egoistic main character ( I wouldn't say hero) : NARU!

Gaaahhh he's so handsome and charming and genius and goodness! But his mountain high ego is annoying though. (But that's what makes him even more charming) -SEE ME GETTING HOOKED!

Lastly! I've seen this anime and the life action long before, but I felt like watching it again.

This is the anime that has left the most impact on me. It got me thinking deep on my life decisions, whether I'm living it right, things that I should've done in secondary school (high school anime yup!), and my future. Seriously, just how much this anime affected me, I got my mind on it for a whole two weeks doubting myself (the side effect of this anime), and Ireadtheongoingmangatilltheendforoneday.

I know! I know! I wasted my midterm break on this anime!

Kimi Ni Todoke!

Seeing how deep this anime/manga gotten into me, I'm gonna dedicate a new post just for this anime, and how it affect me.

Third crush: KAZEHAYA-KUN!!!

Oh super love.

P/s: I  even watched Special A (and regretted a bit) , not my kind of anime
P/p/s: Sherr said to me: Embrace your inner otaku ( I was never the kind that watches anime)

Gnight and have a good day pals!

Meet my crushes (and they crush my heart!)

guess who is who!

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Laundry hygiene

Salam 'alayk guys!

Before I enter tertiary education, I have never ever seperated from my family, my comfort for more than a week. I've never been to school hostels, camps, and so on where I have to be totally independent of my days and myself.

So, getting into UIA is my first experience, and there's a lot of things I need to learn, including doing laundry.

But honestly, I'm not that kind of brat who don't know how to use washing machine, or doing washing clothes by hand, what's softener, and so on. Sometimes at home I washed my clothes by hand too, mostly to cleanse spilled drinks/food on clothes, or just to whiten my school socks (washing machine doesn't work on my socks).

Plus, I've been taught by my mom that fresh clothes from laundry need to be taken care of carefully. Like, in the process of transferring clothes from washing machine to laundry basket, you can't let them touch anything else, because 1) they're clean 2) they're wet clean. So it's easy for the 'clean' to be contaminated.

So now, in college, I don't get it, how on Earth the sisters here don't know the art of doing laundry!

Just now I was using the laundry room, and as usual I would make a timer on my phone so no one would touch my clothes when their turn has come to use the machine (because you never know how they handle your clothes from the machine to your laundry basket). And I was late just for 1 or 2 MINUTES!

I stormed down the stairs, barged into the laundry room, only to look at a SISTER trying to put my FRESH-OUT-OF-MACHINE CLOTHES into my laundry basket while they're still TANGLED TO EACH OTHER and my basket fell and my clothes TOUCHED THE FLOOR!


I don't know if she really doesn't care about fresh laundry or she's just being selfish because it's not her clothes.

She saw me and asked, "is it yours?", and I just said yeah, not once looking at her, continue handling my clothes from hand, and she did not deserve my smile or gratitude whatsoever.


Now I have to wash the contaminated clothes again.

So now since I'm agitated about what had happened, and in an attempt to avoid that happening again, I'm gonna list what to do when the clothes owner haven't come to retrieve them from the washing machine because you need to use it.

1) Look for the laundry basket. Then take a look at the size of the basket and volume of the clothes, is it balance or not?

2) If the laundry basket is more than enough for the clothes, then it's ok.

3) If the clothes doesn't look like it's gonna fit into the basket, you gotta see if the owner put any laundry bag into the washing machines, because that will gonna be the last one into the basket.

4) Start transferring the clothes. But remember to untangle them, and crumple them so they won't fall away or touches  the floor.

5) Prioritize the undies or small clothes, so they won't fall out of the basket since they're at the bottom.


7) Lastly, make sure the washing machine is empty before you start throwing in your dirty clothes.

Hope you guys don't experience this thing like I did, and also hoping the sisters in UIA know the essence of being hygienic!

Friday, August 4, 2017

Reminders and Reflections

Salam alayk guys.

I'm writing this in the middle of the night, and I've have this thought for quite a long time now, and I need to get it out.

First of all, maybe some of you guys have know this, that I'm majoring in Usuluddin and Comparative Religion. Bachelor of Islamic Revealed Knowledge and Heritage.

So the things I learn at college is all about Islam. I take classes on basic Science of Quran, Science of Hadiths, Islamic Jurisdiction, Arabic and so on. But I mostly focus on the philosophy of Islam, Muslim scholars, and most importantly I learn about other religions.

Since I took all those classes, people around me have the expectation that I'd be more knowledgeable than them about Islam. They expect me to be the perfect example. Some called me ustazah, although I dislike the callings but I'd just ameen them.

To be honest, I don't feel comfortable with that. With people that sees me as a person who knows hukm, fluent in Arabic, reads Quran perfectly, displays good characters like how wives of Prophet pbuh did.

Because that is not me. I know that I should know all about that, that their expectations are considered as 'normal' for an IRK student like me. But that's not me. I don't grow up in very Islamic surrounding. Non in my family went to religious school. Non of us have this religious activity where we recites Quran together. We don't have stocks of Islamic books for references.

I grew up as how other kids did. My parents were teachers, they taught me what is basic for Muslim to know. I never went to afternoon religious school when I'm sitting for UPSR.

It's just that my sisters took Arabic for PMR, so I did too. Just that the decision I made that makes me different from my sisters was to wear a longer hijab at school, which I received from my bestfriend. But even then my mom was against me.

Only that my friend was persuasive to see me in that hijab I tried to be strong to wear it. A huge step indeed. But not everyone was supportive. Only my closest friend support me. The others called me hypocrite and such due to my abrupt changes. Thanks to my friend, I've succeeded going through it.

After PMR, I only see it to be the right thing to stay in Arabic classes. Such a waste to leave it, even though it was not my strongest subject. My friends were with me.

For university entrance, I have to admit, this course is definitely not what I really wanted now. I wanted to pursue in science course, but I couldn't, and didn't. I got offered for science matriculation, but it was too far from home, so when I got offer for this course I have to take this one. The mistake I did was I didn't apply for changing course when I was in foundation.

But honestly, sometimes I think it's a blessing I'm studying this course. The reason is that I'd get constant reminder to not stray afar, to be good, then I'm surrounded by good friends. Non of my coursefriends are giving bad influence to me. If this course has done any good to me, is to keep me safe from all the bad things in this world. It is hard to stay on the straight path once you're out of your parents' sights.

Nevertheless, since I'm in my best interest for this course, I have to struggle a lot. For another matter, I'm not the best among my friends, among my batch. Sometimes I feel like I'm studying for the sake of exam, not for the knowledge. I feel so bad. Plus when outsiders ask me Islam related questions, I have to confirm with myself, "do I really know the answer?'.

I hate with such expectations. BECAUSE I'M NOT THAT PERSON!

I admit that I want to strive to be the best Muslim. I want to read more, perform more in terms of ibadah, but the things is I'm just a normal human being with a normal brought up.

Things that I like sometimes aren't align with what people see towards IRK students. I like fashion, I like makeup, I listen to songs, sometimes I dance. I also watch movies, I even go to the cinema. I wish I could do shopping, and I like pretty things. All these girly things. It's in me.

Goodness even if I transform myself to be a super-ustazah like I'm sure those around me will have hard time with me.

Now all that above is the first thing. To tell you who I am. Next I'll tell how Allah loves me.

As a muslims who learns all about Islam and how to spread it, of course it gives a lot of advantage for me, on the spiritual side. Not spiritual side as in I'm religious in my sunah prayers, and all sort of things. But, you know, somehow you're kept safe by Allah, like those huffaz. Something like that.

So, what I want to tell is I'm not a perfect Muslim. Far from it. Not even near those makciks who went tilawah classes. Or men that pray congregationally for all 5 prayers everyday. Or even muslims that are going through changes.

In fact, I feel like I'm a bad Muslim. I don't think I deserve Jannah, but I do want to be in it, desperately. I realize the sins I made, and how grave it is since I know the hukm of it.

Sometimes, I go with my heart eventhough I know it's not the best thing to do.

But you see, when I meet people, who don't have the golden opportunity to study Islam like me, mentioned to me what's considered normal to them their good deeds, I feel stabbed. Crushed. Like, these people, who never went to religious schools, or very religious background, have made efforts to show their love towards Islam more than me.

Like one time, we were talking about group tilawah, 1 day 1 page, and then this one person mentioned that he actually feel burdened on how the members rushed to finish reciting Quran, that if he filled his limited free time to recite his dedicated part rushingly, how is he going to do some tadabbur or read the tafsir?

That, really kills me. That person actually make effort to understand Quran, but I did almost nothing.

That is just one example of how I think I'm being reminded by Allah to do more.

Goodness I feel like really bad seeing I am today. Have I astray? I don't know.

I pray that Allah will keep me in Islam, and guide me to a better life. and I need to practice repentance prayer (solat taubat).

May Allah guide us to His blessings, ameen.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

First Handbag Approved!

Salam 'alayk guys!

Remember in one of my previous post I mentioned on going out with my friends and had some shopping and I bought a handbag that day???

So now it's almost a month of that purchase and I'm super excited to give insights of what this bag has brings me!

Ok first of all, on that lucky day I did not plan on buying a handbag, what more a branded one at that. But the bag came upon me (HAHAHA)

We were just strolling around Parkson at KL Fest just looking at shoes and handbags. To be honest, there were lots of handbags that caught my eyes, but the thing is my eyes only know golds and diamonds, not iron and glass. So everytime I see something flashy (including the price tag, soooo flashy it blinded my eyes) I'd just went past it with broken heart. *drama

Thennn, my friends and I found this section where they put simple shoulder-bags on display. Like seriously so simple but gorgeous as well. At first we were just looking at it, then we touch it, after that we modeled it. Gosh see how shopping works for ladies, guys?

But not to forget we also looked at the price tags, and voila! It's less than 60 bucks, guys! I mean, actually that's the thing that attract us to the bags, the price they hung at the bags. Goodness what a way to trick ladies.

I got super excited. I mean, I like it, it's cheap, you think it's easy to get those combo???

As excited as I am, I tried to transfer my hype to Mun, had to persuade her to spend her money so I won't be alone. HAHAHA what a good friend I am.

So after all the hassle of choosing designs and colour, Mun and I got ourselves one each. A handbag. Which is of course suitable for us students to bring to class. That's my specification for the bag I chose.

Brand: F.Timber


Presenting to you guys my own first branded handbag and a bag overall that's bought with my own money!!!

My precious bag after I got back from my sister's house

Side pockets for water bottles. Totally convenient.

Two pockets at front, left for my matric card and TnG, right for my tissues
Hidden zip above the front two pockets, I use this to put my ruler, earphone, and book-tags.
Front view. It looks like this because of the heavy content. Huh
Side view. I just love how they designed the pockets at sides for bottles, it's so easy to reach it and keep it, especially while transporting in trains.
Inside after coming back from sis's: purse, umbrella, pencil case, makeup case, laptop, book and file for study (I pack my laptop here because my backpack was already too pack and heavy)
A pocket-zip inside: my easy-to-access makeup. There are another two pockets on the other inner side, but I don't use them because it do not have zip.
Huge pocket-with-zip at the back side. I put my girl's necessities in here


So cool right! This bag has so many pockets of sizes, so it's easy for me to organize my things for travel (or just class). Plus, the things on the inside don't get mess-up after hours of walk, they just stay put without the book of file getting crumples or my smaller things like purse and pencil box goes scatter. It just fits, and works well.

Me super love!

Plusplusplus! When I first showed (or just casually flash this handbag) in front of my sisters, they totally like it and approve it! With colour and design like that, and not to forget the super cheap price, how can they not fall in love too!!!

The most shocking thing is that my MOM likes and adores it too!!!

She just noticed this new bag the moment I got back home and cooed "Oooo new handbag I see," .
I was a bit panic since new bag means I spent too much money, but when I see she wasn't mad, I said that I just bought it from Parkson at RM59.

WOW. and she kept on digging on where and how's the other designs. She was totally smitten with the beg, first because it's simple, and super nice red, and of course the so-many-compartments. 

I swear guys, if you ever plan on buying handbags for your girl, buy the one with lotsa compartments.

Ok continue back on my mom, she commented that how convenient this is, and she even started imagining if she could have this bag, a bit smaller (yes they have it, and pretty too), to bring for umrah and hajj.

A woman can dream, and achieve it!

THEREFORE, seeing how all the ladies in my family approved my choice of handbag, especially when this is my first bought handbag (a branded one at that) with my own money, I just couldn't help feel so proud.


Goodness now I can see how money can bring happiness.

Spend money well guys and make your own happiness!

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Feed 2017

Salam 'alayk and heyya guys!

Currently it's past midnight and I've just done with my portion of group assignment.

Today since early morning after subh, I've been busy preparing for my sister's guests, the house, the food, yeah particularly the food. So many things to do, even with pre-prep some food like curry and masak merah. But even then, we barely caught up with time setting things and getting ourselves prepared (my sister especially!)

Later, alhamdulillah we managed to did it all. Nasi tomato and 2 dishes, acar timun, puddings, even some food that the guests were so generous to bring.

Guests do bring rezeki to us.

Aside from all that hussle and clothes reek of stir fry, I ate so much from today's eating session. The ayam masak merah was so good, that the moment I got it tasted on my tongue is the time I realised how much I've missed ayam masak merah. (am so tired of cafes food that i bought the same thing everyday).

Then the desserts! Cakes, brownies, and puddings! Too much sweetness that I got a bit worried seeing how the kids stuffed themselves with sugar. But its okay, (thank God!), everything was under control. XD

Anyway, long story shorten, I've ate so much, my stomach was about to burst and I feel like I could vomit if I jump up and down like the kids (how they can eat so much and still active? wait they didn't, really eat).

So, in order to empty some space in my stomach for dinner later, I rode on exercise bicycle after the guests have gone home. I exercised until it reached 10 km, only then I felt much better with my stomach. Goodness eating too much won't do any good (except for the satisfaction!)

Thennn after dinner cleaning and all, in the night, after we all got bored of Pahang vs NSE on tv9, my BIL gave me permission to take in charge of the screen. Oh well, but I didn't know what to watch.

But then there's this one movie caught my attention. Feed (2017). A bit creepy, and also a bit educating (I think?)

It's about a pair of twins. A girl and a boy. Both are living a good life, doing good at school, high achievers and all. And most importantly they shared almost everything, like schedules, friends, and dreams.

But it all came to stop when something happened, and it has affected so much to the girl, Olivia (Troian Bellisario). From a valedictorian, her grades fluctuated and dropped hard. She had hard time coping daily lives. She started hearing, seeing things.

That's just not it. The situation has worsen that it has transformed her to an aneroxic. This is where I think it's educating. Because the story shows that people have aneroxia not solely due to their desire to be 'beautiful' and 'slim'. It can be because of psychological problem. Something that they experienced, but others can't seem to detect it.

I've always thought that people who are aneroxic are those that are obsessed with being 'slim', and hatred towards fat. But no! Trauma can also cause this disease.

Wait! I'm sure you guys know what's aneroxia right? -it's an eating disorder.

So, since I've learned something new, from other perspective from this story, though it's a bit creepy, I'd give this movie a 4-star.

-it got a good storyline
-creative and soulful!
-opens up minds on aneroxia nervosa

I won't tell more details on this movie. You gotta watch this on your own and experience Olivia's sufferings!

(btw, it's the Malfoy acted as the male twin!)

Eat well guys!